Friday, May 16, 2008

to a window

well, i'm no longer under the fluorescence- at least exclusively. My new office has a great big window, where I routinely show my boobs to whoever would care to look up to the 3rd floor.

It's been a long, slightly terrible week. The first few days were awful- I felt like death, my job was cold and demanding where it should have been warm and (ever-so-slightly) yielding and I wondered how I could have left my family and my life and come out to this cold dry place where it snows in May (why? why?) and my tongue was like paper and my boss took me out to lunch and I couldn't eat, almost couldn't speak. And G. at home with the baby so miserable too and the baby feels so gone from me and then my boobs don't work and there's my period...

Anyways. It was intense.

I feel a lot better now. How could I not - it's Friday night and I've had three beers. My job is going to teach me a lot. My boobs seems to be working better. The period is ending. G and I feel human.

It's still a strange, dry place, this Denver. And I still wonder- do I just go where I am asked, instead of asking the questions myself?

This strange planet.

If next week improves as rapidly as this one has, by next Sat. I'll be on cloud 9.

1.5 hours till the big 3-2. Par-tay time....

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