Friday, August 10, 2007

a reason to have kids

Well, finally giving birth has done me some good. I had my Scary Security Clearance Interview yesterday, where I was asked all sorts of insane questions ("but WHY were you sad in 2003?" And, more often, "What was the name of the temporary company you worked for in 1999 for a month? Who was your supervisor?"). I was trying to convince some 24 year old guy that I was a Very Good Person despite my unwillingness to characterize my pot smoking as "experimental" (um, I would tell you that, if I could keep a straight face) and my refusal to say yes to whether I now believed drugs were BAD (an expert hedge, if I do say so myself), so well there was some shameless exploitation of B.
  • Hi! welcome to my office WITH MY MANY PROMINENT PICTURES OF MY BABY!
  • What was I doing in August 2006? Well, waiting to start my job and VOMITING BECAUSE I WAS PREGNANT. WITH MY BABY.
  • Social life? Well I have THIS BABY...
  • Alcohol? Well, I'm NURSING MY BABY...
  • Ah, please excuse for a moment while I call downstairs to the nursery WHERE MY BABY IS.
  • etc.
Do I feel ashamed? Nope. Instead, I think I should have laid it on a little thicker. Only two baby pictures? What was I thinking? Cute baby= clearance.

It's kind of funny though- the idea behind this is, well, in the past a person may have been irresponsible/insane/a bad person/ illegal activities doer but now that she has a BABY she must be GOOD. Which is kind of ridiculous, because everyone knows bad/irresponsible people have babies all the time. But as a society I think we really hope and wish that people who have babies are good, or else it's too scary to send them home with the babies.

The truth? I am pretty much good. But, Mr. Clearance Man, I was pretty much good before I had B., despite whatever I smoked. I just look the part now.

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