Tuesday, March 25, 2008

baby boot camp day 1

This is the week that B. will sleep through the night. How's that for a ballsy statement?

The time is right- he's finally not sick or teething, G the softy is away, I have stocked the house with Diet Mt. Dew (sweet sweet poison) for the hellish mornings and oh BTW? He's ONE YEARS OLD. Yup, it's time.

So having scientifically perused the internet for advice -- which mostly consists of the Internet telling moms of 9-months old who are letting their kiddies cry it out they are KILLING THEIR CHILDREN and asking sleep deprived moms of 2 months old WHY DON'T YOU LET HIM CRY IT OUT ALREADY -- my plan is to let him cry for 10 minutes, go in, say hi, offer him a bottle of water, let him cry for 10-15, say hi, etc.

So now you are probably waiting with baited breath- how did the first night of this grand experiment go?

7:30 I nurse him to sleep like usual. Which I know is no good, but another time, another time.
1:00 AM. Round 1 begins. He cries 10 minutes, I comfort, he's very very pissed, throws the bottle, etc. I go back and wait another ten minutes. I go in, he's pissed, etc. At 2:10 or so I have the bright idea that, like they do in daycare, maybe i should roll the crib back and forth. This quiets him down but it's a lot more rolling before he goes to sleep. Finally, he is out. Yes, it only took me an hour to jettison the "self-soothing" idea. I am STRONG.
2:45. He's up again. WTF? 10 minute crying, then rolling the crib back and forth. And back and forth. And back and forth. Think about how much nicer it would be to be nursing him horizontally in my bed right now. Then 10 minutes of crying. Then hiya baby. He starts sucking down the water, looking up at me with his LITTLE BEADY AWAKE EYES. No, sweetie, mama loves you. Just sometimes she doesn't LIKE you so much. He finally goes down, with much rolling, at 3:45 or so.
4:15. He's up? No? Thank you thank you.
6:00 AM. Our official wake-up time. I feel as if I've been run over. Good lord, this sucks. Fetch the boy, realize we should sit on the sofa so I can nurse him and thus begin our day. While thinking this, I take him to bed, nurse him and we both pass out. I wake at 7, I have to practically change his diaper while he's asleep to wake him up at 7:30. I am moving at glacial speeds.
8:51: I arrive at work, kindly greeted by my boss's boss- 51 minutes late.

So, it sucked. But that's why it's called boot camp right?

Off to suck down more Diet Mountain Dew-

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